The Unsettling Truth About “Overwhelm”​ (And How You Can’t Fix it, Yourself)

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I have conversations with highly successful men, regularly, who toss and turn at night with thoughts that just won’t shut off.

Here’s the thing…it’s not random.

But most of them don’t know how to get to the root of it on their own… and it’s not going to get better.

Let me tell you the story of Tom. He is a highly successful entrepreneur who started a tech company about 10 years ago which now has about 40 employees, and he is the CEO.

He is married to a physician, and he has two young, healthy, children.

But..

He contacted me because he was feeling totally burned out. His marriage was “okay,” but he felt disconnected from his wife, Karen – they rarely scheduled date nights, or watched their favorite shows together, and he was too tired to care most nights. Karen often told him she missed him, and that made him feel like crap.

The sound of his young children, two boys ages 2 and 4, squealing and tearing around the living room, felt like nails on a chalkboard when he tried to work from his home office. He told me that he’d yell at them sometimes and then feel incredibly guilty.

So, he’d started going to Starbucks or Panera to try to get work done. But there were distractions there, too.

He is the captain of a polo team, but he was starting to feel disinterested in the sport that he had always loved. He had told his best friend, Jay, that he was thinking of stepping down because he didn’t think it was fair to the team. Jay didn’t want him to quit, and it felt like a punch in the gut when Jay told him to “man up.”

Tom felt like his life, his success, his world, was at risk of slipping away from him.

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The thoughts that kept Tom awake at night went something like this:

“What if I screw this up? I have employees depending on me.”

“How do I know, for sure, the best decision about ______?”

“How am I going to be the father I want to be and also the entrepreneur that I’ve been so far?”

“I just don’t have enough time in the day to get to everything!”

“What if my wife isn’t happy? We barely talk right now.”

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Tom’s “overwhelm” stemmed, in some part, from his huge success, which is all too common for many high achievers.

If you can relate to Tom, this has had consequences for you such as indecisiveness, irritability, decreased motivation, feeling trapped, and poor sleep.

And the costs are HIGH!

Your business decisions and relationships are being impacted, and your personal relationships are suffering, as well.

But your success, itself, isn’t really the root of the problem.

Tom’s actual problem was related to expectations he had for himself that were rooted in his core self-image. This was rooted in his cultural and family upbringing.

These expectations had been a huge motivator in driving him toward success, but eventually he began to struggle with a misalignment in the beliefs that had been handed to him and his true inner values, desires, and goals for himself.

It wasn’t hard, really, to help Tom because, together, we were quickly able to pinpoint the exact thoughts and expectations that fueled his pain points. Most people are like Tom and don’t know how to identify these roots on their own.

He was ready to understand himself, to learn, and to grow, and I was his guide. He was willing to take a deep dive into his struggles, and to follow my lead.

So, the process was fairly simple, and in a few short months, Tom was having date nights with Karen again. He looked forward to playing in the floor with his two kids.

He hosted a family gathering in his home, and said, “I really enjoyed catching up with my cousins! I didn’t worry about what my family would think about my rowdy kids, and I didn’t stress about making sure everything was perfect. My uncle told me that I seemed happier than I’ve been recently. He’s right!”

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So, how about you?

There IS a reason that you’re stuck, and it’s virtually impossible to detect this on your own – most people just aren’t good at this.

So, if you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed and irritable, and you want to get back to enjoying your favorite things and your favorite people without the backdrop of thoughts and concerns racing through your mind…

I’ve got something for you.

I’m opening up a few spots in my calendar to talk to entrepreneurs and high performers like Tom who are tired of feeling overwhelmed and irritable.

If this is you, and you’re ready and committed to get past the roadblocks that are killing your drive, your business success, and your relationships…book a time now before the 5 slots are gone for the week.

Let’s brainstorm some ideas together on how you can get some sleep, and reconnect with what’s most important to you.

Message me here or book your FREE strategy session at: https://jodicarlton.as.me/strategy