WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT or POTENTIAL FOR CONFLICT
You have a concern or issue that you want to discuss with your partner that is likely to create conflict
Your partner approaches you about a topic or situation that feels….uncomfortable…may you feel criticized or judged….
You already KNOW what these scenarios are – you live them (some common examples are listed below):
- Your partner has said or done something that upset you
- Your partner has ignored you in some way
- Your partner has traits, mannerisms, or exhibits behavior that is bothersome to you
- You want more of something (hugs, kisses, sex, conversation, household tasks, parenting tasks, etc.) from your partner
- You are hurt by some kind of dynamic in your relationship
- You are criticized by your partner
- You don’t feel supported by your partner
- Your have an idea for your relationship
- You would like to share some potentially upsetting information with your partner
QUESTION # 1
ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
“How important is this to me?”
Use the “2 or 10 Scale” to determine just how important this topic actually is to you.
REMEMBER – many of us rank things much higher than they actually are. Numbers closer to “10” are relationship dealbreakers (meaning this relationship will have to end).
After you have your number for question #1, move on to the next question. I’ll share it with you in the next module.